“I’m not in this world to live up to your expectations and you’re not in this world to live up to mine.” ~ Bruce Lee
A few months ago, I went for a getaway with my wife in Poland to a Spa/Hotel and it had great reviews about the food and the restaurant. I was looking forward to a weekend of delicious meals (we love food, who doesn't?) and an enjoyable experience.
Everything was going on fine until we had terrible service in the hotel restaurant (granted COVID "expectations") because the Chef wanted to leave early, they didn’t have half the things on the menu (of course those were the items we wanted!), plus they forced us to place our order before we were prepared to do so (event though they were supposed to be open another hour or two). Having worked in the hospitality industry for many years, I thought about the million ways that my advice could help them improve their operation. Should I tell them how terrible their service was? The hotel was empty, maybe it was hard to even keep staff? Who knows…
The point is whether we are conscious of it or not, we all have ideas of how the world should function. When reality smacks our dreams in the face, we must cope not only with being annoyed by it, but also with the disappointment of unmet expectations.
She "liked" the news story you thought was ridiculous. You downsized when he upgraded. Hers is a local priority, while yours is a global one. But don't ignore them entirely. We're all linked on a level deeper than the issues we debate.
You and the person with whom you disagree both love your children and want to make the world a better place for them. Both of you want to be remembered and loved. You're both scared at times. You should relate to that person because they, too, are a human being.
Here are 3 things to keep in mind:
- Stop having expectations about others behaviors — it's game you'll never win. Instead, aim to be receptive to all kinds of responses from others.
- Begin to develop your own happiness and trust by focusing on what you can control: your thoughts and values.
- Try to stay in the present moment as much as possible.
People should most definitely act the way I think they will!
There are a number of explanations why people act the way they do. The amount of variables at play is enormous. You have every reason to believe that the person in front of you is doing as they would like. Unfortunately, there are many things going on in their universe that you can't see. Workplace pressures, home pressures, or simply the state of their wellbeing are all factors. Unfortunately, there are many things going on in their universe that you can't see. Workplace stresses, family pressures, or simply the state of their wellbeing are all factors. Alternatively, they may be having an ongoing dispute with your boss. These items aren't visible on the surface. It's unusual for them to tell you.
It all comes down to understanding if you want to get out of the perceptions vs. truth pit. It's a good start to be mindful of what you're expecting. It's also a good idea to become conscious of what you "should" be expecting.
When things don't work out the way you intended, consciously search out the good aspects of your situation. You might discover that once you get over your disappointment, you have a lot more to look forward to.
We're all susceptible to being caught off guard. Every single day, the divide between expectations and reality exists in our minds, but we do have a choice in how we react. Getting to a stage where we're working with fact rather than our preconceived notions puts us in a better place to boost our success and outcomes.
Unrealistic expectations can lead to disappointment and stress, so being more conscious of your expectations and how they affect your feelings about your own reality can help you avoid many unnecessary letdowns.
Thanks for reading and I hope your ability to look within and recognize those EXPECTATIONS helps you avoid disappointments in the future!